Long time no post

Life is a plethora of emotions that changes daily. You'd think I'd have Dx myself by now, but I know its cause and know that within a year or so I'll be back to normal. As of late I am getting my study on for the GRE and will be applying to a handful of grad schools for clinical child psych with an emphasis in trauma. As much as I love my current job as a psychosocial rehabilitator, it is only a step leading me toward my final goal.

June and July were hectic as I jumped from Seattle to Utah to Chicago back to Utah then finally back to Dietrich. I've learned much, and most of it I won't post until all's ended and finalized.

In reality, my job and my calling has gotten me through these past months. I'm the Laurel's advisor and really love all of the young women here. I also love the kids I get to work with. Not only do I get to see them grow and learn, but I get to see how blessed my childhood was and be more grateful for my upbringing and my support system.

Well, that's all for now. I've allowed a small emotional outlet, and now it's time to move on with life.

Moved

So Andy and I arrived in Dietrich, Idaho today. We left Chicago Monday, drove to Nebraska and stopped for the night at a fancy motel 6, then Tuesday drove to Ogden and once again stopped at a renowned motel 6. This morning we left around 11am after going to Denny's for some greasy spoon breakfast, as well as a little embarrassment on my part when some slimy guys talked about my "great rack" while Andy was using the facilities. How did I respond you ask? I tried to ignore it and walked outside to call my Mom while waiting for Andy, and guess what happened? As I'm on the phone with my mom another well-bred gentleman yells out his window, "nice rack". What the heck! I was dressed modestly, actually in a long dress with a t-shirt underneath, and still I get crap. Obviously I was shen-pa'd (hung up) by this situation. What decade did men decide that sort of behavior was appropriate or even wanted? Of course when Andy exited the Denny's and I told him what happened he snickered, gave me a hug, then apologized.

Not funny...anyway...

We arrived in Dietrich, which honestly, is pretty cute so far. I really like the people we've met (including the cute dog who followed us around town as we explored the 5 streets and jumped up to the side of the car while we were at a stop sign so I could pet him), the house we moved into is pretty fab, and twin falls is only 20 min away. After unloading the cars, heading to twin for groceries and such, unloading the groceries, starting to unpack the kitchen and bathroom supplies, realizing the kitchen and bathroom were not quite clean enough for a clean freak to put her clean freak things into, scrubbing the fridge, stove, sink, and cabinets (the counters were spotless), then heading for the bathroom and cleaning the shower, sink, etc., then unpacking and organizing the kitchen and bathroom, finally settling down and watching West Side Story with Andy, AFTER ALL THAT...I'm not tired and cannot fall asleep...

I'm sitting in our cute living room listening to the lack of ambient noise other than the fridge and wondering if I'll ever slow down enough to fall asleep tonight. I am a fan of the free wifi I get from the school across the street. However the lack of netflicks and facebook due to blocked access is enough for me to decide to pay 30/mo for internet on my own. What can I say, I need my films.

I am so excited that Andy has finally given in to my no television plan! We'll be able to watch tv online or through netflicks via our wii, so its not as though I'm stopping completely. But, I am excited to stop wasting time watching lame reality television for hours when I could be wasting time reading one of the many books I've acquired at garage sales over the past few months or brush up on my french skills or baking skills or learning to be crafty skills (a girls gotta have skills). I'm hoping it lasts at least a year, but Andy may be done with my plan before the month is up (he's already talking about getting a new flat screen because "our tv isn't cool enough").

It seems I'm blabbing on and on because it's almost 3 am and I'm FINALLY getting tired. Hooray for circadian rhythms.

She's Crafty!

As of the past few weeks I've become somewhat crafty. Low funds and numerous wants from window shopping has left me saying "I can make that!" Here are the latest hair creations from the basement. Let me know what you think!

These are clips or hair pins:

These are all headbands:

Young Womens

I'm the secretary in the YW presidency and it is my turn to teach the lesson tomorrow. I've spent all day figuring out how best go about this topic: The Sacred Power of Procreation, and have decided to pretty much follow the lesson outline and hope it goes well. I'm not uncomfortable talking about sex, but I worry that the girls will be uncomfortable with the topic. It's a small yw group and so I hope they'll be open to the conversation and won't tune me out completely. I'll have to put my worries to bed and let you know how it goes tomorrow.

I can now take a sigh of relief for my lesson is over and I'm home in comfy clothes. Sadly, I found out the girls didn't know what procreation meant, so once they found out the lesson was on sex it was my job to make it an open and comfortable setting.

I let them know it was like vegas and what was said or asked in there stayed in there. I wish I could put all teenage girls at ease and give them the foresight to see that high school isn't forever and that keeping themselves pure and chaste is really worth everything I'm telling them.

There was one quote in particular that stuck out to me:

“This most intimate relationship between man and woman, authorized by God within the covenant of marriage, is not merely physical or biological. It involves the whole personality, affects the complex nature of men and women. This relationship, within the sanctity of the marriage covenant, with its concomitant obligations, makes man and woman one in interests, aims, aspirations, and responsibilities. If they are true to their covenants to each other, to their children, and to God, their whole beings are merged, they become one mentally and spiritually, and the family they establish is an eternal unit. Prerequisite to ideal marriage is deep and abiding love. This enduring relationship requires purity of thought, word, and action; devotion, loyalty, sacrifice, integrity, fidelity, honesty, and again unsullied virtue. There is no real decency without virtue, and there is no real happiness without decency” (Hugh B. Brown, You and Your Marriage [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1960], p. 81).

I hope to be able to be as open with my children as I was today with the girls, I also hope my children will be as open with me as the girls were today. I'm so thankful for a church that gives amazing and practical advice and is open with its members.

Existentialism

I have been reading quite a lot lately, mainly because I have nothing else to do, and television is melting my brain. I'm reading about existentialism more and thought I should start by reading Kierkegaard and Sartre since they are the predecessors of this philosophical movement. I finished reading some of Sartre's journals as well as his letters to and from Beauvoir and found them good but lacking in something, mainly some sort of positivity. Now getting into Kierkegaard I find what I was looking for. This quote for example: "A man who as a physical being is always turned toward the outside, thinking that his happiness lies outside him, finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within him." has some of what I was missing in Sartre. I do this at times, I look to others to help me feel better, or think that some activity or some purchase or some degree or some travel or some something other than myself will help me find what I'm missing inside. The truth is that I have to look inward and be happy with myself, by myself, right now and then that happiness can possibly be shown outward. Happiness is found in the soul, it is very personal, and it necessitates meditation and dedication to accept that what you know about yourself and the world is miniscule compared to what is truly out there to learn. There is also a second part to this, I have to accept the fact that I choose how to feel. I decide how I respond to situations and how they affect me and my attitude toward everything else.

This was on my mind and I thought what a better place than my new blog to share it with everyone!

Starting up

So, I've started a blog. I currently live in Manteno, Il and within two weeks will move across the country to a tiny town in Idaho. I plan to give updates on my move as well as the culture shock I'll be going through. I have my BS in Psychology and Philosophy and want to go to grad school more than anything, but since I'm in a partnership, whose partner is now employed in teeny tiny town Idaho, I'll be accompanying him. Anyone who knows me, knows I like to explore new things: food, fashion, movies, cultures, books, ideas, etc. This next chapter of my life will definitely be an exploration and I plan to take new experiences with an open mind. If you see me be closed minded or biased more than what I can control, please crack the whip and help me be positive!